Wednesday, April 30, 2008

personal days

my company provides 2 weeks of vacation and 2 personal days to be used annually.  emily has heard me mention that i am going to "take a personal day" for various reasons (usually some golf tournament / outing).  after a long day of taking care of the crazies (johnson, goose, and maniac mcgee), she laid down in bed and said, "i think i am going to take a personal day tomorrow."  being the good company man that i am, i nicely asked her to fill out the proper forms and submit them to HR and we would consider her request.  

she was denied.

she has applied for a couple other personal days since then, but each time she gets denied because she fails to give the proper notification in enough time to process the request (all subjective terms that HR can change whenever they's in the fine print....sorry, she signed the contract, if she can't read the fine print that is not my fault).  emily even has tried to quit / resign / put in her two weeks - but each time she tests the job market (other crazies) and she comes crawling back - actually, i just pinch finn and he starts crying and she immediately asks to be rehired.  of course i offer her the job again, but each time i reduce her pay and take away a personal day (another part of her problem with not getting HR approvals).  

the real problem is that she doesn't appreciate the leniency that her gracious employer provides.  they allow her to wear pajamas to work; she can drink during regular business hours (within reason....she tried to take advantage of this rule so HR added "within reason" to the end); they don't block any inappropriate websites; she gets a 2 hour lunch; they encourage napping on the job; and they don't even require that you have a degree (she does have a degree, so she often tries to use this as a reason for a raise, but instead she usually just gets a massage).  and they even put on exciting company functions - for example, just the other day the whole "team" went to the suns playoff game (actually, just the HR manager went to the game, but the "team" did collectively watch the next game on the new tv in the main conference room).  

in all seriousness, i realize that i am like most guys and i have trouble handing out compliments or appreciating how tough it would be to stay home and be a great mother (which is ironic considering i have heard countless lectures from my grandpa on the importance / beauty of the vocation of motherhood....he has a newsletter on the subject if anyone is interested).  with mother's day approaching i figured i would throw out a public compliment - i love my kids, my family, and especially my wife.  i consider myself a very lucky man.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Communion...huh, what da heck?

lucy was mesmerized by the little girl behind us in church eating a snack.  when she asked emily if she could eat something, emily told her, "no, we don't eat in church."  sure enough, 20 minutes later as we walked back from Communion, emily was drilled with questions - "what was that?  are you eating?  can i have some?"  so of course emily quickly explained the transubstantiation and the true nature of the Eucharist and the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus within the blessed unleavened bread following consecration.  the little girl behind us starting crying....maybe she will think twice about being so disrespectful next time.  

Thursday, April 17, 2008


just like nicknames, i enjoy fictional words so long as they sound like they have a good definition.  i have long used the word "resty" to described a state in which i claim to not be tired enough to sleep, but i just want to lay down.  i admit it is clearly an excuse to lay down and not get grief for trying to take a nap, but if i deny the nap and say, "i am just resty" it always sounds better.  emily recently coined the term "jammified" which i give her a great deal of credit for learning well from her handsome husband.  while asking the kids to get ready for bed, she said, "lucy, we need to get you jammified".  nice work spoose.

and a quick note on nicknames.....emily also recently gave finn the nickname "maniac mcgee".  it is especially funny when lucy tries to use it....

Saturday, April 12, 2008

little colonel

lucy is very excited that her cousins are reading the little colonel series, which her favorite shirley temple movie is based on.  so this is from lucy for hopi...

Friday, April 11, 2008

14 kids, 3 moms

going to the zoo "burch-style" - and, no, we didn't lose anyone.  


Monday, April 7, 2008

an easter "huh, what da heck?"

so, apparently there is something confusing/bewildering about reeses pieces that are packaged to resemble a carrot because they brought out a true "huh, what da heck?" from a slightly sleepy-eyed lucy easter morning.  it is frequently shortened to a simple, "huh?" but the face always remains.  well, we think it is funny, even if no one else seems to...


i love nicknames....i am known by some of my nieces and nephews as uncle dude, i call my son johnson and my daughter goose.  i call my wife spoose.  i call pudge pudge.  and most of those nicknames i can't recall where they came from, i just continue using them.  awhile ago my brother and i were making up "rapper names" for our kids.  so with each new kid i have tried to think of a new and creative rapper name.  i highly suggest thinking of good rapper names for your own kids.  you probably won't ever use them, but they might make you laugh every now and then.  if you have any good ones, please let me know.  in any event, here are ours:

me: p-daddy
jack: l'il j. scrump
lucy: goose-pac shakur
finn: effin burch (or maybe f'in burch....i haven't really decided how offensive i want his to be)

on a side note, kristi yamaguchi is definitely going to win dancing with the stars.  why do people love olympians?  i think that carrot top snowboarder dude is super annoying.....i bet he will end up on dancing with the stars in a couple years and he will probably get julianne hough and i will dislike him even more.  

sorry, i was sidetracked by emily's dumb show.  back to the kids.  finn is on his second black eye, he has two chipped teeth, and if you let him, i think he might compete in dancing with the....damn....i mean i think he might compete in toddler ultimate fighting ("TUF").  and he would win because the other kids couldn't land any punches on his drool soaked shiny cheeks and chest.  

i wish he would sleep....lucy too.